10. Dial the phone number of the guy in the next cubicle whenever he walks away from his desk. Hang up before he can run back to answer it. Repeat often.

9. Whenever a coworker makes a mistake, offer them the opportunity to "help you out" in exchange for you not reporting the mistake to their boss.

8. Respond to every request by your boss with the phrase "I would prefer not to, Sparky."

7. Take all of your calls on speakerphone, especially if you work in a cubicle.

6. Tell your boss that you intend to spread out your vacation time by taking off one minute out of every 25. Spend all your time 'planning' your vacations.

5. Dress like a pirate for the office Halloween party. Dress like a pirate every other day of the year as well.

4. When asked to do something, start laughing hysterically. Continue this for five minutes. Calm down and say, "Oh, you were being serious?"

3. Whenever the boss starts to tell you a story, interrupt him/her with a story of your own. Make sure the story is boring and has no point whatsoever.

2. Sleep at your desk. If anyone wakes you up, yell loudly, 'Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem!'

1. Change the background on everyone's PC to a picture of you.